Sept 29

At this stage with TIWIR (very close to release) I feel like I'm struggling mightily with whatever insane force inside me wants to make me fail.  I expect this week is going to be constantly fighting that internal demon.  I woke up this morning convinced that TIWIR is a waste of my time ... but there's no logical reason for not seeing it through to the end, even if it is.  Also, it's likely that whether or not it's a waste of time is largely dependent on how much I prepare this week.

Google's play store has some serious issues with the alpha program not being as helpful as one might want.  I mean, if it's in alpha, there could still be some major changes, like the paid status, or package name, or other things that you can't change.

*sigh*  I need to look over these videos, I guess, and see if any of them look worth editing and posting.

Sept 28

Up a bit late, alarm didn't go off this morning.  Running behind where I want to be, super sore (I guess from the long bike ride yesterday?)

Stupid argument on Facebook.  Illiterate fellow threatening people, I think I've avoided getting too drawn into it.  Kind of proud of myself for not backing down but not getting incensed and screaming either.  If I can keep that kind of response to things like this it should help a lot.  Maybe I should intentionally practice?

Bleah ... day is slipping away on me again ... in general, really fighting off some depression and nonproductivity right now.

Not really sure if I'm happy with today's progress or not ...

Sept 27

Intentionally turned my alarm clock off last night to let myself sleep until I was ready to wake up this morning.  Resulted in me getting up around 8:00.  Not sure if that was a beneficial thing or not.

Got a few minor things done on TIWIR this morning, then went to Steak & Shake for the worst burger I've ever had from them.  Then rode my bike.  16.25 miles @15.4mph.  Not bad.

I think I'll tear everything off the bed and wash it, then move the bed and vacuum underneath ... there's enough dander there to make an entirely new cat at this point ... actually, post, it wasn't that terrible.  I feel like the effort wasn't worth it, but that's because moving that mattress was a major pain.

Yay, Journey reminded me how much fun it is to play guitar ... egads I'm rusty, but it was fun to jam along with Youtube a bit.

This whole thing about Eugie Foster dying really shook me up.  Not 100% sure why, I mean, she's the same age as me, so that's a little disturbing; but overall I don't have a terribly tight connection to her, other than being involved with publishing a few of her stories.

Sept 26

Up and running on schedule.  Going to be a nice day, so will take the bike out after lunch.  For now, I have additional content for TIWIR brainstormed with Jamie, and more work to finish up the configuration code for the same.

I just cleaned the fuck out of the house yesterday and I can already see cat hair on the floor.  I will never win this battle.

Aargh!  Somehow got wikipedia syndrome and spent the last hour reading about chemical weapons ... ok, enough distractions, back to work.

Gaah ... having trouble staying focused today.  Making really slow progress.

Honestly, what a shit day.  Pretty much the opposite of yesterday.  This is one of those days when I think having other people that I'm working with would help a lot.

Sept 25

Just a good day all around.  Up and working early.  Lots of progress on TIWIR configuration for the pro version.

Sept 24

Slow morning, but I got social media integration done for TIWIR.  In general, steady progress on this.  Should be wrapped up before the end of the week, but I'm still uncomfortable -- it needs more variety.

Sept 23

Went to bed a bit early last night, and got up a bit earlier than usual today as a result.  I think I'm finally getting reaccustomed to getting out of bed while it's still dark.

Mood is mostly good.  Productivity is a bit of a struggle, but there are milestones being reached, so it's a bit easier going.  Quest code for IC is complete.  Still think that IC is ripe to be abandoned.

Moving on to TIWIR now.  Gotta get that done so I can move onto the next one before I miss my chance.

Google Play's tech support is playing the most obnoxious game: we can't answer your question.  We don't actually serve any purpose but to give you the runaround.  I'm going to give the current issue one more chance to be resolved, and then give right the fuck up if they give me more runaround.  I've worded it in such a way that I can't conceive of how they'd dodge the question again, so if they do, I'll know they server absolutely no purpose whatsoever.

Decent ride this afternoon.  I guess I was being pessimistic, as it looks like there will be a number of opportunities to ride over the next few weeks, at least.

TIWIR is coming along slowly but surely.  I make take a break and braindump some stuff for SL later this evening, just to mix things up.

Sept 22

Up early.  Have to go get breakfast because the house is devoid of food, but I'll go grocery shopping late today.  Lots to do today.

Man ... damn SSH attacks have been worse than usual the last few days.

Making a video takes a long time ... only because trying to figure out what to say in the 43s of video that I took is tough!  Finally wrapped it up.  I need to learn how to make better videos, which I guess is just going to take practice.

Perf improvements to the quest code.  Not as much an improvement as I'd hoped, but some.  Should be able to wrap up quests today and be back on TIWIR tomorrow.

It's amazing how difficult it is to get attention.  How easy it is to accidentally attract the wrong kind of attention (almost a sure thing).  Depressing would be putting it mildly.  On a high level, I'm not even communicating with people 1/2 the time.  I honestly feel that it's because most people are stupid and/or aren't paying attention or something else wrong with the majority of other people; but I can't discount the possibility that it's just something wrong with me.  Many things that I've read/heard/etc claim that you just have to communicate a LOT.  It hardly seems worth it most of the time.

Get the grass cut, then groceries, then back to coding.  Not sure if I'm working out today, Nik hasn't responded.

Sept 21

Drove up to Moraine for hiking.  Did about 8 miles, then stopped in Slippery Rock for some excellent food.  Watched some of Ken Burns' Civil War documentary with Jamie ... now I'm really friggin tired!

Sept 20

Whee ... 8:00 AM and working, working, working ...

Lots of attacks against the server this morning.  Although the blocked IPs are broad enough that I don't see many SSH attacks any more.  I am noticing a lot of attempts to abuse the SMTP service, which is annoying since they'll never succeed in using it as a relay (since relaying is only enabled on the submission port, which gets blocked along with SSH when someone shows evidence of being a douche).

It really pisses me off that there's nothing I can do about this other than block shit.  I long for a world where one can actually fight back against this kind of thing.

This "Welcome to the Dungeon" game is terrible.  I can't believe that people are downloading shit like this and I can't get traction with Idamu Caverns.

I really don't want to do anything today ... this wouldn't be so bad if it happened occasionally, maybe once a week.  Unfortunately, I'm finding that most days I don't want to do anything or talk to anyone, and it's a fucking burden to have to force myself to do everything and force myself into every social interaction.

Man ... the idea of having an NPC give the player something is way more complicated than you'd think it should be ... what happens if the player has nowhere to put it.  Much easier to just leave it on the floor, although this brings up the challenge of what if there's already crap all over the floor.  Defer this for now by trying a few different floor locations, but there'll need to be better handling as time goes on.

Aarrgh ... I'm trying to help out by hooking a friend up with some work, but Facebook apparently makes everything so fucking hard, unless it's what they want you to do!

Nice ride today ... probably the last decent ride I'll get in this summer.

Well, I've got most of what needs done for basic quests.  There really need to be some more items, though ... I was hoping to put it off for a bit, but there's just too few stuff at this time.

Sept 19

Slow to wake up this morning.  Again, just a matter of motivation, probably can blame a lot of it on how late he sun rises this time of year.

Damn this cat dander ... 5 minutes after getting out of bed and my eyes are swelling shut ... I'm not even sure what I did.

Bleah ... ended up sleeping the entire morning away.  Self-discipline failed.

WTF is that self-discipline supposed to be anyway?  Am I supposed to hit myself with a stick?  Or deny myself dessert?  Seems to me that the only discipline possible is other-discipline.

Finally ... making progress, but now I feel like working is the wrong thing to do somehow.  Sometimes I think my brain is completely broken.

What a bunch of friggin FUD: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/news/a31262/texas-appeals-court-rules-for-upskirt-photos/?click=_hpTrnsprtr_1&src=spr_TWITTER&spr_id=1440_89994752

Garbage like this is the reason many people recommend staying off the Internet while you're trying to get other things done.

Man ... super weird bugs ... not sure WTF I've got wrong here, but so far the debugging is trying to get me to re-investigate code that's got good unit tests and has been working well for quite a while.  Seriously ... previously proven code _with_ good unit test is suddenly not working right in this one case, for which I can't figure out what is different.

This is interesting ... I guess the bug was in a part of the code that _didn't_ have a good unit test.  Really, it was simply a quirk of the behavior of the class.  Frustrating that I'm not sure how to avoid hitting this problem again.

Really frustrated that Play store stats show even more loss of users for IC.  It's hard for me to believe that there are so few people interested in this.  It's possible that it's just not at all what I think it is.  In any event, there's a good chance I'm going to abandon this project completely, as it's a time sink with no reward whatsoever.  I think I'll push it through at least to the social networking stage and see what I learn from that.

Sept 18

Better mood this morning, it's more of a lack of motivation than outright depression.  As a result, I have high hopes to be productive today.

Another unexpected crash from the game.  These are frustrating, but it looks like I'm going to have to refuse to allow the player to pick up a second backpack or come up with some other way to fix the problem, since it's certainly possible for the game to spawn multiple backpacks.

I think the biggest struggle I've been having with burnout lately is that I've run out of interesting places to bike.  Just about everywhere I can think of to go is somewhere I've already been multiple times.  I'm hoping that as the weather gets colder, starting to ski will re-invigorate me.  For now, the biking has ceased to be fun for the most part, and is simply something I'm doing because I know it clears my head and allows me to get more work done.  I'll have to spend some time looking for other places to go.

Only rode about 11 miles, but averaged 17MPH, so not too slouchy.  Man, the difference between the cross bike and the touring bike is significant.

Still feeling like avoiding work, but not as bad as it's been earlier this week.  Let's get cleaned up and see what I can actually get done!

Making good progress on Idamu Caverns.  Quests are turning out to be a little more complicated than I originally expected, but I'm confident that they will be ready by the promised date.

I worry about money a lot.  One of the easiest ways to stop worrying about something is to prove to yourself that it's not really a problem.  Current projections say that if I continue using money at the rate I am, my savings will last me at least until the middle of next year.  While longer would be better, and give me a better chance of actually succeeding at this business, I feel a lot more confident than I did 20 minutes ago when I was guessing that my savings will hit critical before next spring even arrives.

Sept 17

Today is a bad day.  Struggled all morning and got very little done.  Very disturbed by the whole Oskar Groening thing -- it has gotten under my skin.  What do people think they're accomplishing by bringing charges against someone who's effectively gotten away with the crime?  (uncharged for 70 years and now he's unlikely to live long enough to see the trial)  Meanwhile, crimes like that continue to happen all the time in present time.  This isn't about justice or making the world a better place, it's about someone showing off and flexing their muscles by attacking someone who can't defend himself.  Of course, now I'm frustrated that I let such a thing distract me from work, which make the frustration worse.

Finally forced myself to take a bike ride this afternoon.  Head has cleared a bit as a result, and I'm hoping to get _something_ done with the last few hours of the day.

I'm infinitely frustrated with the fact that I'm craving something to eat or drink, but I can't figure out what, and nothing that I have in the house to eat is appealing to me.

Google is really getting on my nerves.  They don't try very hard to be accommodating to the developers.  First, they refuse IC for "designed for tablets" and give me a complete bullshit answer when I point out that their designed for tablets stuff is broken.  Now they arbitrarily decide that I have to have a physical address that is publicly available.  Check this response from support out:

"The notice was just announced, but the functionality doesn't exist yet.

By September 30, 2014, you'll be able to add a physical address by going to your Settings page on the Developer Console (https://play.google.com/apps/publish/#ProfilePlace)

I hope this helps. Did you have any other questions for me today?
me 5:14 PM
So ... I have to have it done by Sept 30, but we don't know when I'll be able to do it?
Murphy 5:14 PM
The option will be available on the 30th of Sept."

In the end, it turns out that I'll have 30 days after the 30th to add my address.  Interesting.

No workout tonight due to schedule issues.