Holy *^*@^#!:
https://support.google.com/googleplay/android-developer/answer/141659
I guess I wouldn't be so damn frustrated with this if it actually gave me a useful error instead of just saying "failed, please try again"
To Google and anyone else developing software: if your error message says "please try again" when it's clear from the software's logic that it's NEVER going to work, you are a bad person and deserve whatever terrible fate befalls you.
Also, if you link to a page that's supposed to resolve an issue and it DOESN'T, that also makes you a bad person worthy of having bad things happen. The above tells you that you can't buy your own apps, points to a page that's supposed to tell you how to work around that, but the target page doesn't explain that.
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